Our Lives Changed in an Instant

Notice...this is a long post.  I'm sorry.  I guess I'm sharing this one for my posterity. :)

On this day 3 years ago (it fell on Friday) our lives changed in an instant by one little phone call.  It is a day that will forever be one of the most important days to our family.

It was another average December day.  Jeremy and I were both at work and were planning to attend a friend's Christmas party that evening.  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary...that is until I returned from luch to two voicemails.  One from Brother Watkins, our case worker at LDS Family Services (LDSFS), and the other from Jeremy.  Both wanted me to call them right away.  As I called Jeremy, I looked at my computer and saw an e-mail from Brother Watkins that indicated we had been selected to be parents of a daughter.  Jeremy told me that he had already talked with Brother Watkins and that it was true...WE WERE PARENTS!  Our daughter had been born the previous day and we were welcomed to go see her as soon as we could.  I was overwhelmed with emotion, as you may imagine.  It was absolutely amazing!  We had been waiting for this moment for 10 1/2 YEARS (3 years in the adoption process) and we were finally blessed to be parents!  Even now it is still very sensitive and I cannot find the words to express our appreciation to our loving Heavenly Father for this blessing.  A phone call to Brother Watkins revealed that Lindsey's birthmom went to the hospital with back pain, which turned out to be labor pains.  She told the hospital that she wanted to place her baby for adoption with an LDS family.  The hospital social worker then contacted LDSFS.  This was new information to them as she had carried her baby in silence.  Brother Watkins met with her to discuss her options.  She stated that she did not want to have contact and wanted a closed adoption.  She didn't want to look at adoptive couple profiles either...she left the decision up to the agency.  This came as a surprise to the agency, but they needed to identify the parents of this precious girl that had just left Heavenly Father's presence.  So they got together and discussed the adoptive couples.  After prayer and consideration....they chose US!  That's how it happened.  Although I've never met her I know that Lindsey's birthmom is an amazing woman!  Someone to whom I am eternally grateful for her selfless sacrifice.  Someday I hope to meet her and express my gratitude...although I'm not sure exactly how to do that.  But you can bet I am going to try my best.

So on with the story...

We finished up work and I cleared my calendar for the rest of the year.  Then we were on our way...as you could imagine I was so excited I talked the entire way.  One of many things we talked about on the way was names...what were we going to call our daughter?  We came up with 3...Grace Marie, Samantha Renee and Lindsey Mae.  We were very anxious driving to the hospital and walking in was very long and nerve wrecking.  Was this real?  Were we really going to be parents?  (We had some doubts and were very guarded since we had went to a hospital and left empty handed just two years before.  So at this time our parents are the only ones who know about our situation.)  We were told that no one from LDSFS would be there and that we should just ask for a specific nurse and she would help us.  When we asked for that nurse the nurses at the front desk knew exactly why we were there.  The nurse came to meet us and took us to the Neonatal Nursery and we scrubbed up.  We walked in and the first bed held our beautiful little girl...a healthy 5 lbs. 2 oz., 18 1/2 inches.  She was so tiny (that's why she was in the nursery).  The nurses were taking great care of her and had a name sign on her bed saying "Pearl".  (Since she was born on Pearl Harbor Day and hadn't been given a name the nurses decided that was a great nickname for her.)  We held her and loved her.  It was amazing...an experience that no words can describe.  We spent the evening holding her, feeding her, changing her, and loving her.  We felt it in our hearts...she was OUR DAUGHTER.  THIS WAS REAL!  As I was holding her, Jeremy and the nurses asked what we were going to call her.  I looked into her eyes and said "Lindsey Mae...she's a Lindsey" and Jeremy agreed.  That night as we were leaving the hospital we felt we could start to tell people, even though it wasn't final yet..so we called our siblings and the party we were supposed to be at.  Everyone was very excited.  We really tried to sleep that night because we knew it would be our last night of uninterrupted sleep for many years, but sleep wasn't really on our minds.  The next morning (Saturday) Jeremy had planned on going hunting.  I told him to go ahead since we weren't to be back at the hospital until 11 a.m. anyway.  Mom and I went shopping...we needed EVERYTHING!  We had one thing...a cradle, but nothing else.  I made a call to the hospital to see what formula and diapers she was using so we could be consistent.  Then mom and I went to buy the necessary formula, diapers, clothes, bottles and a car seat.  Mom took the clothes home to wash them and I went home to get Jeremy and get ready.  We picked up the clothes and were on our back to the hospital...to pick up our daughter.  This time I'm not sure our feet were touching the ground as we walked in with a car seat in our hands and a diaper bag on our shoulder.  I'm sure there was a glow around us from the excitement in our hearts.  First we had a little "training" (they wanted to make sure we could feed and change her) and then we signed the papers and brought her home.  A nurse walked us out and helped us get her loaded in the car.  I road home in the back seat.  It was a dream come true.  As we arrived home we were welcomed by family like we were celebrities, including a sign in the front yard from some dear friends.  It was an amazing experience.  We were blessed by many wonderful family and friends who helped us adjust into parenthood.  It certainly was a shock to our lives, but one that I would never change.  I loved the fast pace and just being in "go" mode.  I still struggle to find the words to express how amazing it was.  I am so grateful that Lindsey's birthmom was a strong woman who chose to first of all give her life, and secondly to give us the blessing of being her parents.  I am also grateful that Heavenly Father has entrusted us with such an amazing spirit.  She is our miracle baby in many ways.  We has a sign hanging in her room that says it very well, "you've been a blessing from the start, I love you daughter with all my heart".  That's how we truly feel.

Our first family photo.